Celebrity conundrums

Over the years, I have affectionately stared at my favourite celebrities, bumped in to some on prominent streets in London and hotels, smiled awkwardly at others only to receive disgruntled stares and observed others during Fashion Week. These celebrities live a privileged life, mainly a result of hard work or family ties. Either way, life looks good.

Here, I’ve come up with pros and cons to what I believe surrounds a celebrity and their lifestyle.

Let me first define celebrity status using the following ‘Status Class Chart’ (for the record – these are strictly my own views and my own opinions; feel free to share if you agree):

Class A – Superstar;

Class B – Mediocre;

Class C – Only known because of their next-of-kin relationship to some Class A celebrity;

Class D – Those who are self-proclaimed, most likely through reality TV.

I’m not just talking about the monetary value that a celebrity has because that is all relative. Obviously if you are a celebrity, you are generally more well off than the rest of us. But it’s all relative.

Now, we all know and have always read about the perks of being a celebrity. I’ll list a few below:

  • Worldwide recognition – everyone knows you (well at least a handful do, depending on which celebrity class you belong to).
  • Endorsements – you get to promote worthy causes, and some not-so-worthy causes, but does the cause really matter when you get a fat cheque at the end of it?
  • Freebies, such as fancy clothes, handbags or perhaps a ride on a chartered plane.
  • Large social media following (this is regardless of what celebrity class you fall into, so a huge bonus in the celebrity world).
  • Access to the hottest tickets in town.
  • Reservations at top restaurants that normal individuals can only obtain once waiting patiently for 3 months on the advance booking list (although, I have heard that this is not always the case, and some A class celebrity’s wife rocked up at a top Mumbai restaurant expecting a table only to be turned away).
  • You get to name your child after your favourite fruit, or city, or something that sounds remotely posh but borders on non-existent in the dictionary, without any other family member battling an eyelid.
  • It always seems obvious to the rest of the world how in control you are and the power you possess.

Now for the cons:

  • You can never really slurp your spaghetti for fear of your face being splattered across the next morning’s papers.
  • You could never wear your most comfy track bottoms and hoodie when flying long haul. Or carry your hot water bottle on to the flight.
  • The fear of being relegated down the Status Class Chart can result in mental disorder at some stage. Very few celebrities live in no fear and I applaud those; however, all the ones I have seen always weirdly have an entourage of security that rivals Presidents.
  • God help anyone who does not recognise a celebrity when they are not trying to be inconspicuous. This could become a very embarrassing situation – cause uproar or silently turn away?
  • Once your status is established, if you try to do something out of your realm and it fails, there is no forgiveness or no turning back. The world is cruel. And just like that, you are off the Status Class Chart.

The deal breaker for me – you never get to sit in the front driver’s seat (of YOUR own car, might I add) and you never get to drive yourself, or your partner or your kids. This is a major bummer in my view as I cherish the moments I am driving myself. This is what REAL CONTROL is about.

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